Yesterday I had the privilege to attend a debate at Londons Southbank as part of an annual Alchemy Festival. The debate topic was “Can you be both LGBT and South Asian in Britain today?”. This topic is EXACTLY why this blog exists. So many people think being homosexual is a western thing, it’s a choice and if you’re Asian, you can’t be Gay.
The panel consisted of five members (initialed to retain anonymity):
- R.A (Chair) is the Co-Founder and Director of The Equality Academy.
- A.G is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief at SHOR (a creative online portal reflecting South Asian LGBTQ lives worldwide).
- F.M Director of Faith Matters, working to reduce extremism, interfaith and intra-faith tensions.
- H.S is a Lawyer specializing in parenting for infertile Gay and Lesbian couples.
- B.T is a producer of live performance with a particular interest in contemporary peripheral narratives, those falling outside of mainstream.
The debate began by each member saying a bit about their past and what they wish for the future. Everyone had very empowering speeches, the two that stuck out for me were by A.G and H.S.
A.G had a very powerful story. Due to being a Lesbian, she had to leave her family for four long years. They didn’t accept her for who she was; a lot of credit needs to be given, as it takes a very strong willed and dedicated person to stick to their beliefs. A.G (quite rightly) believes that she is a Lesbian, it’s not a choice and she did not want to be forced back into the closet by anyone. During those four years away, her family missed her greatly and I believe were taught the lesson that being Gay isn’t a choice and you should accept your children for whomever they are. I’m pleased to say, she is now back in touch with her family, they are supportive but there’s still a long way to go. For example, the Gay and Lesbian word still isn’t spoken.
H.S’s speech made me smile. She is a Married Sikh Mother of two. She spoke about her difficulties around mentioning same sex marriage and how she actively goes out speaking to homophobic people whilst helping same sex couples in parenting.
After the intro’s the topic was opened up to the audience and we got to hear from a lesbian couple with kids who lived in India (hassle free) and a photographer who came across problems with LGBT Asian art amongst others.
Watching this debate was so engaging, I had to remind myself, that we were all getting together speaking about South Asian LGBT issues. This is HUGE! If more events like this happened, in time, being a South Asian Gay would not be an issue. As it was mentioned many times, simply the action of planting a seed can achieve so much.
In my opinion, many South Asian families think being Gay involves going dancing all the time, being promiscuous and not leading a family lifestyle. Coming from this event, it was quite obvious that is NOT the case and there are plenty of South Asian LGBT’s living in London.
As A.G put it, your sexuality doesn’t define how good a person you are, your actions towards others does.